red heart on the palms of a womanRomance, as women we long for that element in our relationships but does that predict how successful the relationship will be ?According to John Gottman, American’s leading marriage researcher at the University of Washington in Seattle, lasting romance means partners connect in small ways.  He suggests the magic of romance is in a ratio of 5 to 1; five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. Five deposits in the relationship bank account for every one withdrawal. Gottman asserts, “Candlelight dinners, being showered with diamonds and dancing may sound romantic, but don’t count on them to make up the difference if your everyday account of positive interactions is consistently overdrawn!

What creates a deep intimate relationship is the way that you relate to your partner on a daily basis.  Do you say thank you, smile at your partner, kiss, hold hands, cuddle, really listen, place an unexpected phone call or text to tell them you love them.  Be attentive to performing little acts of love, without an ulterior motive other than to simple express your love. According to Gottman, this is the secret, the art of romance.

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